


Distant Friends

by vivvav



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Friendship, Gen, The AFR Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 20:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10975179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivvav/pseuds/vivvav
Summary: A talk with Ren causes Makoto to realize that Ryuji's the only member of the Phantom Thieves she isn't very close to. She decides to change that.





	Distant Friends

“Having second thoughts?”

“Don’t rush me!”

It had been a few months since Ren had decided to stay in Tokyo. While still attending Shujin Academy, he was currently on summer break, and Makoto had no classes that day, so they decided to spend it together. It occurred to Ren that in the near-year they’d been dating, he and Makoto had never been in one of the Inokashira Park boats together, and it seemed like it’d be a waste not to do the most couples-y activity in Tokyo with his actual girlfriend. It wasn’t difficult to convince Makoto to spend their day at the park, although she did approach the suggestion with the same clinical curiosity that she approached most of his date ideas with, treating it like some kind of academic outing.

> _“A boat ride? I’ve never been on one before. I suppose that kind of thing would be considered romantic, wouldn’t it?”_

Of course, now that they were actually in the park, Makoto wasn’t exactly keeping her cool. Ren just stepped into the canoe with no problem, but Makoto was overthinking her entry.

“Seriously, Makoto. You’ve driven motorcycles and fought monsters. You don’t need to afraid of getting in a boat.”

“I’m not afraid! I’m just concerned about the weight displacement!” Makoto stared the boat, clearly running some far-too advanced simulation in her head. “If I don’t approach this just right, the entire vessel will capsize and-“

“Makoto, please.” Ren held out his hand. “You’re overthinking this. Take my hand.”

“Ren, I’m simply trying to-“

“There is nothing simple about you’re doing right now. But I can give you simple if that’s what you really want. Come on.” He gestured his head towards his hand.

“Very well.” Makoto reached out to grab Ren's hand. Months ago doing even this simple act in public would’ve had her red-faced, but ever since she’d started college, Makoto seemed to have discarded any reservations she had about embracing her interests. She’d begun working to get her real-world motorcycle license, her room now proudly displayed framed posters for all of her favorite yakuza films, and most of all, she refused to feel any kind of shame over being with Ren. She told him that she worked too hard in life to deny herself happiness anymore, and Ren really admired her for it. Of course, it made it harder to fluster her now, but that just made the times he succeeded at it more fun.

“Now close your eyes.”

“This seems ill-advised.” Makoto closed her eyes anyway.

“Now take two steps forward. Slowly.”

“I’m going to listen, but if I fall in the water there will be no escape for you.” Makoto slowly took one step forward. Her foot sunk below the level it was originally at, and she felt it touch the boat. She took another step, Ren still holding her hand, and opened her eyes. “I did it!”

“You sure did.” Ren sat down at one end of the boat, grabbing the oars. “Are you ready to depart?”

“Who said you get to row?” Makoto sat down, reaching for the oars. Ren pulled them back, causing the boat to drift backwards a bit.

“I’m the boyfriend. It’s my job to row.”

“Since when do you care about things like that?”

“I mean, if you want to row, that’s fine. I’m just saying, I’ve done it before.”

“You’ve been out on this pond before?” Makoto’s eyes widened. “With who?”

“Why Niijima-Senpai…” There was a time when Ren called her that out of fear. Now he mostly used it to tease her. “I didn’t think you were the jealous type of woman.”

“I’m not!” Makoto crossed her arms. It was very subtle, but Ren could tell she was blushing a bit. “I just thought I was your first girlfriend, is all.”

“If it makes you feel better, that’s still true.” Ren began rowing for real, taking the boat out into the center of the pond. “I was with Yusuke.”

“Yusuke?” Makoto chuckled. “Is this like that time you two went to church?” Her chuckles turned into stifled giggling, imagining Ren and Yusuke striking odd poses in a boat, losing their balance and falling into the water.

“Kinda. He wanted to capture couples on the water. Though it turned out the couple he’d chosen for his subjects were a brother and sister.”

“I imagine that was awkward.”

“That’s a good way to describe it.” Ren stopped rowing and leaned forward. “Come to think of it, most of my memories of this park are kinda awkward. I don’t know why I keep coming here.”

“Like what?”

“Well, you know that little swan boat on display in my room?”

“Of course.” Makoto had actually wondered about a lot of the decorations Ren's room. She never got around to asking about them because she was always distracted by that cute stuffed animal he kept from one of their earlier dates to the amusement park.

“Iwai gave that to me.”

“Iwai-San!? What were you two doing at the park!?”

“You know, I’m still not sure. We were scoping out the location. It was probably something sketchy.”

“So he asked you to look for a place to commit crimes and gave you a toy?”

“I don’t know about crimes, but yeah.” Ren looked out at the other couples on boats. “I think he bought it for Kaoru, then realized he’s too old for that kind of thing, so he tried to give it to me like it’s just something guys do.” Ren pointed to a tree by the water. “Oh, and over there is where I asked Ryuji to punch me in the face! Though I guess that one was my fault.”

“I still can’t believe you did that.” Makoto winced remembering that huge black eye Ren had. “You’ve explained it to me, and I understand it, but it’s not exactly something I can relate to.”

“Believe me, if it were just about who could punch the hardest, I would’ve asked you, but I knew you’d never go for it. That’s why I went to Ryuji.”

“Well, I don’t exactly relate to Ryuji either.”

“I’ve noticed.” Ren looked into the water.

“Does that bother you?” Ren could see Makoto looking at him in their reflection on the pond’s surface.

“A little.” Ren looked towards the real Makoto. “I mean, I get it. Certain people in groups of friends are closer to others. Like, I understand Haru more than I understand Yusuke-“

“I don’t think anybody quite understands Yusuke.”

“True. But sometimes, when we’re all at LeBlanc, I realize just how weird our social circle is.” Ren frowned. “I mean, you and Ryuji are the type of people who never would’ve become friends if it weren’t for the Phantom Thieves.”

“But we _are_ friends.” Makoto reached across the boat and put her hand on Ren's knee. “Isn’t that enough?”

“Are you, though?”

“What are you implying?” Makoto removed her hand from Ren's knee and crossed her arms. “Do you believe that I don’t care about Ryuji?”

“No. I know any member of our group would do whatever it takes to help another member out of a bad situation. But I want you to be honest with me.” Ren stared directly into Makoto’s eyes. “If everything was going right, would you spend time with Ryuji? I wouldn’t be there, Ann wouldn’t be there, nobody else would be there. Just you and him.”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“That’s not an answer, Makoto.”

“Alright, I can see this is bothering you, so… No. I suppose I wouldn’t.”

“I thought so.” Ren looked down at his feet. “Thanks for being honest.”

“Ren, why is this so important to you?”

“It’s just… You two are important to me, and I don’t want to live a life without both of you in it. I don’t need you guys to be best friends or anything, but I guess it’d just be nice if you both actually got along instead of just tolerating each other.” Ren gave Makoto an embarrassed smile and began rowing the boat again. “I’m sorry, this is stupid. We’re supposed to be on a date and I’m ruining it by talking about all this lame stuff.”

“It’s not stupid, Ren.” Makoto looked down so Ren couldn’t see the disappointment in her eyes. Even after all their talks, Ren had this compulsive need to try and invalidate his own negative feelings so he wouldn’t be a bother to anybody. It was sweet, but also self-destructive. “You want the people around you to love each other as much as you love them. I don’t think that’s lame at all.”

“Still, it’s not appropriate date material. I’m making this all about what I want. First I dragged you out here on this boat, then I brought up all this heavy stuff. What do you want, Makoto?”

“Well, there is one thing you could do for me…” Makoto raised her head and leaned forward, putting her hands on top of Ren's hands, which were still at the oars. She stared deep into his eyes. They were so much more alluring now that he’d gotten rid of those fake glasses.

“Anything.” Ren seemed to be in some kind of lovey-dovey daze.

“Remove your hands so I can row the boat.”

* * *

The next evening, Ryuji was seeing Futaba off at the subway station in Shibuya. He’d run into her on the street, making her first-ever trip to an arcade. Ryuji couldn’t believe that a big nerd like Futaba had never been to an arcade before, and he remembered Ren mentioning how she had some trouble dealing with new experiences, so he wound up low-key babysitting her. Well, really, it was more like being her bodyguard. Some of those guys in arcades were real creeps, and Futaba had enough trouble talking to her fellow first-years at Shujin, so he had to act as a buffer. Once Futaba’s long orange hair disappeared behind subway doors, Ryuji decided to run home. He’d been slacking off on his exercise a bit lately. As he made his way out of the train station, he heard his phone ping. Fishing around in his pocket, he figured it was Ren wanting to hang out, or Ann asking some fitness question for modeling reasons, or maybe just Haru saying hello. She did that sometimes. Ryuji thought it was kind of weird, but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t nice.

To Ryuji’s surprise, the message was from Makoto.

> Good evening. Do you have plans this coming Friday?

_“She must need help with somethin’”_ Ryuji thought.

> Nope. What’s wrong?
> 
> Nothing at all. I was just curious if you would like to spend some time together.

Ryuji stared at his phone in disbelief.

> Do you have the wrong number? This ain’t Ren.
> 
> There is no mistake. I am asking you, Ryuji.
> 
> Really?
> 
> Is that so hard to believe?
> 
> Little bit.
> 
> I see… Sorry for wasting your time.
> 
> Hold up! I didn’t say no!

This was really awkward. It’s true that hanging out with Makoto was pretty far from Ryuji’s idea of a good time, but there was no way he was gonna tell her that. It wasn’t even a matter of her being scary or being his best friend’s girlfriend, it’d just be a dick move period.

> I’m just surprised is all. If you wanna hang out, that’s cool.
> 
> Thank you. I believe there is a ramen shop you frequent in Ogikubo. Let’s meet there.
> 
> Got it.

* * *

Friday afternoon came along and Ryuji got on the train to Ogikubo. It was a long ride, so he had plenty of time to agonize over just what the hell was going on.

_“So, I’m on my way to hang out with Makoto now. That’s not weird, right? We hang out all the time. Yeah, we usually have a ton of other people with us, and we don’t have a lot in common and don’t talk much one-on-one, and also she’s dating my best bud, but that’s all totally normal.”_

Ryuji shook his head, tapping his foot impatiently on the subway floor.

_“This ain’t normal at all! What’s goin’ on? Is this some kind of joke? Or is it a trap!? Does she wanna chew my ear off for somethin’!? What could it even be? She doesn’t even go to our school anymore, so it’s not a Student Council thing. Oh man, is this about the time I hit Ren? She was PISSED when she found out about that. Ren had to pull out all the stops to keep her from kickin’ my ass, but maybe this is one of those ‘revenge is best cold’ kinda things. Maybe I should get off the train at the next stop and head home. Nah… That’d make it worse the next time i actually see her.”_

Ryuji managed to worry himself all the way to Ogikubo. When he got off the train, it was a short walk to the ramen shop. He saw Makoto standing outside, but she hadn’t noticed him yet. It occurred to Ryuji that this was his last chance to bail.

_“Nah, better face the music.”_

“Yo!” Ryuji waved and casually walked over to Makoto. She turned to him with an uneasy smile on her face.

“You made it.” Makoto didn’t sound particularly happy. She was kind of reserved. Almost disappointed, even.

“Yup. Sure did.” Ryuji stopped in front of Makoto and stared at her. There was silence between the two for a moment. On the bright side, it seemed like she wasn’t angry at him. But this was all still really awkward. “So… You hungry? I’m starvin’.”

“Then shall we go in?”

Makoto didn’t wait for an answer, she just headed through the door of the ramen shop. Ryuji slowly followed her in. The restaurant was less crowded than usual, so it didn’t take too long for the two to get their food. They were both glad for this, because while yes, they were hungry, they had been silently sitting next to each other while waiting for their orders, and eating broke the tension a little. Not much, though. There was a stiffness to all of Makoto’s actions as she slowly consumed her ramen. She seemed to be lost in thought over something, and was avoiding looking at Ryuji. He had the opposite problem. He couldn’t stop looking at Makoto, just expecting her to do something unusual, and he was almost missing his mouth as he frantically tried to eat. It was the most uncomfortable meal he’d ever had.

Upon finishing their ramen, the pair quietly paid their bill and walked out of the restaurant. They stopped outside the door and stared off into the distance.

“Um…” Ryuji turned to Makoto.

“Did you enjoy your meal?” Makoto looked back at him. Maintaining eye contact felt like a Herculean feat for both of them.

“Yeah, but, like, is there somethin’ else you wanted to do? ‘Cause you coulda just had ramen by yourself.”

“I suppose that’s true, yes.”

“Not that you’re bad company or anythin’!” Ryuji put on a smile far too wide to be genuine, sweat starting to form on his brow. “It’s not like I think you’re bor-“

“Let’s take a walk, Ryuji.” Makoto started to head down the street without waiting for Ryuji to agree to anything again. He just stared for a few seconds, feeling like he just dodged a bullet. If he’d kept talking, he was sure to put his foot in his mouth, and then Makoto might have put her foot up his ass.

“Alright, sure.” Ryuji quickly moved to catch up to Makoto. “So, was there somethin’ you wanted to talk to me about?”

“I’m not entirely sure.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Here’s the truth.” Makoto looked down at her feet, slowing her pace down. “Ren recently pointed out how you and I don’t really have much of a personal relationship outside of having the same friends. I wanted to see if we could fix that.”

“Is it somethin’ that really needs fixin’, though?”

“Hm?” Makoto looked up at Ryuji. To her surprise, he seemed, well- It was hard to describe how, but his expression and the way he carried himself made it seem like he might actually have something smart to say for once.

“I mean, different folks click with each other differently, right?” Ryuji scratched the top of his head. Although Makoto recognized there may be some wisdom to his words, Ryuji himself seemed as unsure as he usually did when it came to serious topics. “Like, me and Ren are best bros, and me and Yusuke get along, but Yusuke and I aren’t on the same level the way me and Ren are. And there’s nothin’ wrong with that, it’s just how it is.”

“That’s true. Still, when it comes to my relationship with you compared to all the others, you’re something of an outlier.”

“Whaddya mean ‘liar’!?” Ryuji spoke with his usual excessive volume. “What part of what I just said sounded like it ain’t true!?”

“No, Ryuji.” Makoto smiled. Just like that, all of the tension was gone. _This_ was the Ryuji Sakamoto she was used to talking to. “I mean that you are the only member of our group who I don’t seem to have any special relationship with. Ren and I are dating. I can do what I guess you would call ‘girl stuff’ with Ann and Haru. Yusuke and I can discuss culture. Futaba is like the younger sister I never had. Even Morgana can sometimes provide stimulating conversation, especially with my interest in police work and his perspective as a natural-born thief.”

“I getcha.” Ryuji looked forward, his gaze focused on the horizon. “It’s about what we have in common. I’ve known Ann for years, so we got history. Futaba knows all about games and manga and stuff. Haru knows good food. Yusuke likes hot girls, though he’s kinda weird about it. Mona’s a total dick, though.” Ryuji looked curiously at Makoto. “So you wanna figure out what we got in common? I guess I’m down for that.”

“Wonderful! So, what are some of your interests?”

“Well… Uh…” Ryuji grumbled a bit. This was one of those questions that shouldn’t be hard because you already know the answer, but when you’re actually asked it your mind goes blank for a minute. “Runnin’, of course. And I like meat. And video games. Manga too, I guess.”

“Oh! I’ve been taking an interest in manga recently.” Makoto’s eyes were filled with an enthusiasm Ryuji had only ever heard Ren describe when he got all goofy talking about her. “I recently started reading this older series called ‘Death Note’ to relax when I’ve completed my studies for the day, and I find it absolutely enthralling! Have you ever read it?”

“I’ve heard of it. Tried watchin’ the show they made, but it’s not the kinda thing I’m into. I prefer stuff with lots of fights in it.”

“Yes, that makes sense. That kind of thing doesn’t really appeal to me though.” Makoto tried to hide her frustration. Just as quickly as they’d discovered a talking point they were about to lose it. She had to keep the pace of the conversation going. “I do enjoy some action movies though.”

“Oh yeah?” Ryuji looked at Makoto curiously. “Like what? Martial arts movies?”

“To an extent, yes. I’m a fan of stars such as Toshiro Mifune and Bruce Lee.”

“That makes sense.” Ryuji took on his usual casual tone. “Nobody’s as good as fightin’ as you without likin’ it, I guess.”

“I suppose…” Makoto had to push the thought to the back of her mind. While the idea of correlation between an enjoyment of combat and a proficiency for it was something she wished to explore, she doubted Ryuji was somebody she could have a particularly in-depth conversation about it with. “Though I’m especially a fan of crime thrillers.”

“Is that ‘cause you wanna be a cop?”

“You know about that?”

“Yeah. Ren mentioned it once. I can see it.”

“It’s nice to hear you say that.”

“Yeah, you’re total cop material. Solvin’ crimes, puttin’ away bad guys, that’s totally the kinda thing you’d be good at. I mean, just look at how you joined the Phantom Thieves. You remember all that stuff with Kaneshiro?”

“Of course I do.” Makoto got a nervous expression on her face again. Looking back, she really screwed that up. Sure, she discovered Kaneshiro’s identity and location, but if it weren’t for the fact that Ren and the others _were_ the Phantom Thieves, she’d probably be in major trouble or even dead right now. “I hope my future police work is better than that was. I got reckless and handled that investigation terribly.”

“I mean, I guess, but you were goin’ through some stuff that clouded your judgment. You know better now, yeah?” Ryuji gave Makoto a thumbs up. “You’re gonna make a great cop, Makoto.”

“Thank you, Ryuji.” It felt strange being encouraged by him. Makoto knew that fundamentally, Ryuji wasn’t an unkind person. He tended to speak without thinking, but that also meant that he was easy to read, and his compliments tended to be genuine. Still, actually being praised by him for something not relating to the Phantom Thieves was rare.

“I’m kinda jealous. Wish I knew what I wanted to do after school like you do.”

“That can’t be true. You must have some ideas for your future.”

“I mean, not really. I used to think I was gonna be a pro runner, but then all that stuff with Kamoshida happened.”

“But you go on runs all the time now! You’re quite good at it too!” Makoto recalled how Ryuji almost died when Shido’s Palace collapsed. At the time, she wanted to use Johanna to release the lifeboats, but she was just too exhausted from the fight with Shido. Ryuji always seemed to have energy to spare.

“Yeah, but that’s just for me. I don’t really like the idea of runnin’ as competition anymore. It kinda ruins it.” Ryuji sighed. “Aside from that, I dunno what I’d do. It seems like workin’ out and stuff’s the only thing I’m good at. I guess I could be a personal trainer or somethin’, but is that really what I wanna be doin’ for the rest of my life?”

“You don’t have to limit yourself to something physical. I’m certain there’s something else that you’re good at.”

“Like what? There’s no way a guy like me could get an office job. And it’s not like there’s somethin’ else that’s callin’ out to me or whatever.” Ryuji shook his head in frustration. “It’s like everyone knows what they want except me! Haru’s got her cafe, Ann’s a model, Yusuke’s an artist, even Ren's been talkin’ about politics with that old guy. How do they just know what to do with their future?”

“Well, I imagine each of them would give you a different answer.” Makoto tried to recall what everyone had told her. “Ann fell into modeling as a hobby and then came to genuinely care about it. Haru was inspired by her grandfather. Artistic people like Yusuke often have some innate drive to create things. And Ren wants to make sure that the things that happened to him will never happen to anybody else.”

“What about you?” Ryuji stopped walking and stared at Makoto. She quickly halted herself. “How’d you know you wanna be a cop?”

“Well, that was the result of a few things. But looking back, it’s mostly because my family has a history of working in law enforcement.”

“Like your sister?”

“Not exactly. I was really proud of Sis when she became a prosecutor, but I think her current work as a defense attorney suits her just as well. I think it really comes from my father.”

“Was he a cop?”

“Yes. A detective, actually.” Makoto’s face lit up as she recalled her time with her father. “We were very close. He always fought for what he believed in, and had a very strong sense of right and wrong. I suppose my desire to be a police commissioner largely comes from wanting to be the kind of person that he was.”

“Well, that don’t help my job search at all. You’re sayin’ a bunch of stuff that I can’t relate to.” Ryuji got a sullen look on his face. “My old man was the worst.”

“He abandoned you, didn’t he?” Makoto recalled reading something to that effect in Ryuji’s school records back when she was investigating the Phantom Thieves. “That must have been terrible.”

“Nah, leavin’ was the best thing he ever did.” Ryuji’s sadness quickly turned to anger. “He was a real bastard. Always drinkin’ and hittin’ me and my mom. Insultin’ us, tellin’ us we were worthless. I just wish he’d taken off sooner.” Ryuji clenched his fists. His entire body was shaking. “If I ever see that guy again, I’m gonna break his effin’ jaw!”

“Well, as somebody interested in law enforcement, I can’t condone assault. But I don’t blame you for feeling that way. It must have been so hard on you and your mother.”

“Yeah. Mom was always workin’ so hard to make our lives better. Things only got easier for her after he left. One less problem to worry about. ’Til I went and started causin’ problems on my own, I guess.” Ryuji’s face changed again. He was still angry, but now it was at himself. “Your mom’s real lucky, Makoto. You’ve got your crap together. I bet she doesn’t have to deal with anythin’ like that.” The second Ryuji finished saying that, he started experiencing the strangest sensation, like he was standing right next to a nuclear bomb that was slowly exploding. For some reason, it occurred to him that he might be about to actually die. He turned his attention to the source of this sensation and saw that Makoto was letting her very scary alter-ego Queen take over.

“Of course she doesn’t have to deal with any troublesome behavior! _**S** **he's dead, you imbecile!**_ ” Makoto seemed about two seconds away from pummeling Ryuji into mush.

“Oh shit! I didn’t realize!”

“YOU’VE KNOWN ME FOR OVER A YEAR AND DIDN’T KNOW MY MOTHER WAS DEAD!?”

“I mean I knew you were raised by your sister and all but I never put it all together like that! It’s not somethin’ we ever talked about!” Ryuji was now trying to figure out if he could break into a sprint fast enough to escape before Makoto’s animal instincts could take over and she’d pounce him in reaction to the movement and tear him a new one.

“You never-“ Some part of Makoto registered that Ryuji’s reasoning, while ludicrous, was still somewhat valid. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she exhaled, the urge to kill left her body. Still, some residual grumpiness remained. “I understand. I’m sorry for losing my temper with you, Ryuji.”

“It’s my fault, Makoto.” Ryuji had eased up with the disappearance of Makoto’s hostility, but he still felt like a complete ass. “I know what gettin’ angry’s like. Somethin’ happens and you just lose it. It’s not even like you know you shouldn’t, it just happens.”

Makoto didn’t say anything. She didn’t feel like she had to add anything. It seemed that she had finally found something in common with Ryuji. He kept speaking.

“I had to go and be a total dumbass, just like always. I bet a moron like me couldn’t even get hired as an effin’ janitor.”

“Ryuji…” This was not how Makoto wanted the day to go. Her attempt to bond had just been the two of them digging up a lot of negative feelings. She fiddled with her hair, trying to think of a change of topic. She found one when her finger came into contact with the edge of her headband. “It’s really not a big deal. My mother died when I was very young. This is all I really still have of her.”

“What?” Ryuji looked at Makoto’s hands, confused.

“This.” Makoto took off her headband and held it in front of her face. “My headband. She gave it to me.”

“That’s not your hair!?” Ryuji gawked at the accessory. “I always thought you just braided it or somethin’!”

“Well, that’s kind of the idea.” Makoto let out a quick laugh, glad that Ryuji had taken the bait. Most people had a similar reaction, but Ryuji’s was among the loudest.

“I don’t get it. Why would you put somethin’ on your head that’s the exact same color as your hair?”

“Well, when I was a little girl, I wasn’t the way I am now.” Makoto looked at the headband in her hands fondly. “I was a very fussy child. And very timid.”

“So you’re sayin’ you were a crybaby?” Ryuji tried to picture a younger Makoto. All he could envision was a chibi version of her in her Shujin Academy uniform, hands on her hips and pouting. He tried to imagine her crying, but the image just didn’t seem right.

“That’s not how I would choose to word it, but somewhat, yes. I always wanted to braid my hair, but when my mother tried, I found it uncomfortable and started crying. But since I didn’t get it braided, I was still upset, so she had the idea to get me a headband that could blend in with my hair. That way, I could have ‘braided hair’ without feeling my roots pulled at.” Makoto put the headband back on. “I suppose it’s a bit silly that I still wear it. I’m perfectly capable of braiding my own hair now. It must seem childish.”

“Nah. It makes you feel closer to your mom. Only a total asshole would make fun of you for somethin’ like that.”

“I suppose. Still, I think it’s a little embarrassing. I’ve told very few people that story.”

“Whoa, is it a big secret or somethin’?”

“In a way. I don’t think I’ve even told Ren.”

“Oh man! Really!?” Ryuji started laughing. “I know somethin’ about you Ren don’t know! That’s-“ Ryuji’s laughter stopped and all the mirth left his face quickly. “Aw shit, I’m totally gonna blow this.”

“What?”

“Now that I know it’s a secret I’m totally gonna lose my cool and blab it! I’ll be hangin’ with Ren and be all ‘Guess what dude, I know somethin’ about Makoto that you don’t!’”

“Well it’s not that big of a secret. I can tell Ren myself when I see him next week.”

“Yeah, but I’m hangin’ with him tomorrow! It’s all I’ll be able to think about! How am I gonna keep my mouth shut!?” Ryuji closed his eyes rubbed his temples vigorously, trying to jump-start his brain. His eyes shot open a moment later. “I got it! Cool ladders!”

“I don’t understand.” Makoto raised her eyebrow. “Is ‘Cool ladders’ some kind of exercise equipment?”

“Nah, it’s like, I tell you somethin’ about me as insurance. That way if I blab, you can tell other people about it.”

“Oh! You mean ‘Collateral’.”

“Yeah, that!”

“Ryuji, I don’t think I need to know a secret about you to-“

“No, this’ll totally work! C’mon, there’s gotta be somethin’ you wanna know. Ask me!”

“Oh boy…” Makoto didn’t really agree with the idea that she needed to know one of Ryuji’s secrets for him to keep hers. But he seemed to believe in it, so she decided to play along. “Well, there is one thing I’ve wanted to ask you for some time…”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“Well, you know how your vocabulary is…” How could she put this without insulting him? “Uninhibited?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“I mean you tend to hold nothing back when expressing your thoughts, especially when it comes to swearing. ‘Dumbass’, ‘son of a bitch’, ‘bastard’, that kind of thing.”

“Uh-huh…” Ryuji was clearly trying not to laugh. It’s not that he’d never heard Makoto curse before, but hearing her rattle off a bunch of swears in a row in her detached way of speech was kind of funny. “What’s your point?”

“Well, there’s one word that you always censor yourself with. And I’ve seen you use it in text messages, so I was wondering why.”

“Oh.” Ryuji no longer had to fight the urge to laugh. “You mean…” He looked around, then leaned in close and whispered “‘Fuck’?”

“Yes.” Makoto was shocked. Not by Ryuji saying 'fuck', but by the fact that he actually whispered. “Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but what makes that one word off limits?”

“It’s my old man again.” Ryuji’s face turned sour. “That was pretty much his favorite word. Everything was ‘effin’ this’ and ‘effin’ that’ and ‘you’re an effin’ waste of space’ and ‘don’t you effin’ talk back to me’. I don’t wanna be anything like that selfish, mean-spirited bastard. And I didn’t want Mom to have to keep livin’ with any of his shit either. I may cause her trouble, but it ain’t the same kinda trouble he caused her. So that’s why I don’t say that word.”

“I’m sorry, Ryuji.” Makoto lowered her head. “I wanted this to be a pleasant afternoon between two friends and the conversation keeps going to this dark place.”

“Cheer up, Miss Prez.” Even though she no longer held that title, that was still how Ryuji saw her. “It’s not that bad. Actually kinda nice gettin’ that off my chest.”

“It is?”

“Yeah, it’s like, talkin’ about all this heavy stuff ain’t exactly somethin’ I wanna do all the time, but it’s important to remember where you came from. Both our dads made a big impact on who we are, in good ways and bad ways. And I figure understandin’ that much about yourself’s gotta be worth something, even for a moron like me, right?”

“I completely agree, Ryuji. Except for one thing…” Makoto looked Ryuji dead in the eyes, her expression a bizarre mix of kind and stern. “You’re not a moron.”

“What’re you talkin’ about? Everyone knows I-“

“There are different kinds of intelligence, Ryuji. You may not be great at schoolwork, and sometimes you have trouble understanding new concepts, but I think you exhibit a certain wisdom that a lot of people lack.”

“Uh… What?” Normally Ryuji would accept any compliment with a complete lack of humility, boasting about how great he was. In this case, he was too dumbfounded to ham it up. Nobody had ever called him wise before.

“You’re honest with yourself. You don’t think about things the way others do. And yes, sometimes that causes problems. But it also means that when you do something, you do it because you believe it’s right. Nobody can force you to go against your own nature. You know yourself, Ryuji.” Makoto smiled proudly at him. It was a very weird thing to be on the receiving end of. “Not a lot of people can say that.”

“I dunno about all that. I mean, I still have no idea what I wanna do for the rest of my life.”

“You have time to figure it out.”

“I guess.” Ryuji looked up at the sky, deep in thought. “Bein’ a Phantom Thief’s the only time I felt like I knew what I was doin’.” He looked back at Makoto with his usual punkish grin. “Maybe I’ll just become a real thief.”

“If you did that, I’d have to arrest you.”

“You’d never catch me.”

“Yes I would. You’d be terrible at covering your tracks.” Makoto smirked at Ryuji.

“Yeah, but you’d never _catch_ me. I’m too fast.”

Without any build-up, Ryuji took off in a sprint, running back in the direction of the restaurant. It took Makoto a moment to register what just happened, but once she did, she dashed after him, never one to back down from a challenge. As she pushed her legs to new limits to try and catch up to the blond dot growing smaller in the distance, she felt a mix of mirth and frustration. It was a cocktail of emotions she hadn’t felt in a long time, not since fighting alongside Skull in the Metaverse. This is what friendship with Ryuji Sakamoto felt like: the good and bad kinds of ridiculous both at once. And maybe Makoto and Ryuji didn’t have the best small talk. But it was nice to know that they had their own dynamic all the same.

**Author's Note:**

> Update: This fic's been changed to use Joker's canon name.


End file.
